IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while other think people should be free to choose.

#people #sports
In my opinion, I think that people need to be given the freedom to choose what they should be doing and not doing as sports. As the present and future world is thinking more towards the freedom of people,
this
 scenario should
also
 be considered in the same manner. Sport is something which helps to keep the balance of the society. It improves the attitudes of humans and it helps to improve their behaviour. Engage in sports helps to work with teams, improve quick thinking, practice to bear up wins and defeats, enhancing leadership qualities etc. All in all it helps to make a healthy society as well. Sports are one of the key factors of a healthy human being.
Similarly
 categorizing of sports as dangerous or non-dangerous by spectators or by another party who is not engaged in those sports is a massive unfair for the players. It has
to be come
Suggestion
become
to become
 from the players who are the real contenders of the game. In parallel to providing the right to take decision to choose the sport, it
also
 should improve the attitude of having necessary safety equipments of the players. Rather than distracting their game and banning those games, it is quite fair and reasonable to make noise in order to upgrade the safety of those sports. Nowadays people are more developed in thinking compared to the people who were in a hundred years ago. So with the freedom of thinking people has been using their right to take their own decisions
moreover
 than in the past. It has been proven through the latest elections from all over the world. So with all these facts, I am quite happy to mention that people need to be given their own right to choose whatever sport they like which can be dangerous or not dangerous.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: