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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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 believe that earning a high salary is more important than enjoying one's
job
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.
While
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 financial security is undoubtedly essential, I disagree with
this
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 view because
job
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satisfaction
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 has a greater impact on an individual's long-term well-being, productivity, and
overall
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 quality of life. Those who
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 a high income argue that money provides a comfortable lifestyle and reduces financial stress. A well-paid
job
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 enables
people
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 to afford better housing, healthcare, and education for their families.
Furthermore
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, higher earnings can create opportunities for travel, personal development, and future investments. In an increasingly expensive world, financial stability is understandably a major concern for many workers.
However
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,
job
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satisfaction
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 plays a far more significant role in determining a person's happiness and mental health. Since most adults spend a substantial portion of their lives at
work
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, performing tasks they enjoy can lead to greater motivation, lower stress levels, and a stronger sense of achievement.
By contrast
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, individuals who remain in highly paid but unfulfilling positions often experience frustration, burnout, and dissatisfaction despite their financial success.
For example
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, many professionals choose careers in teaching, healthcare, or research because they find these occupations meaningful, even though they may earn less than
people
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 working in corporate sectors.
In addition
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,
job
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satisfaction
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 often contributes to long-term career success. Employees who are passionate about their
work
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 tend to be more productive, creative, and committed to professional development.
As a result
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, they are more likely to achieve promotions and salary increases over time.
Therefore
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,
job
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satisfaction
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 and financial rewards are not necessarily mutually exclusive; in many cases, enjoying one's
work
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 can eventually lead to higher earnings. In conclusion,
although
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 a high salary offers financial security and various material benefits, I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 is more important because it promotes happiness, personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, and sustainable career growth. Ideally,
people
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 should seek a balance between adequate income and meaningful
work
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, but if forced to choose,
job
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satisfaction
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 should take priority.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but add one more strong example to make your point even better.
task response
For task response, you can explain the other side a little more before you disagree.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a clear way, but you can use a few more linking words like also, for this reason, and because.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, one body part could be a little shorter so the whole essay feels more balanced.
task response
For task response, you answer the question fully and your opinion is clear from the start.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and this helps the reader follow your essay easily.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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