IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
In recent days, we are seeing most of the working people are being diagnosed with long term disorders like Diabetes, Cholesterol, High or Low Blood pressure, etc., which is primarily due to lack of bodily exercise. Here we will discuss health issues caused by not performing regular exercise and possible ways of controlling it.
Firstly
, working professionals in the current generation hardly get free time to concentrate on their physical activities like running, workouts and basic exercises. It is mainly because, people in the current generation are most concerned about their career growth and
this
 kind of thinking makes them work hard for 14 to 16 hours a day, resulting in no leisure life left to take care of their body fitness. It will build up stress in the brain and can lead to blood pressure and sometimes heart attacks.
Secondly
, even though many multinational companies offer gym facilities on their premises, most of their employees will not use them because of their laziness.
In addition
 to that, most of the present-day jobs don’t have any physical activity involved in it,
hence
 all the blood sugar and cholesterol are piled up in the veins and causes Diabetes. A recent study in the Times magazine shows that only 28% of IT professionals in India spending 2 hours in a day for workouts, which is a very alarming situation of personal fitness.
Finally
, all the companies should run the fitness awareness campaigns to educate the workers on health issues if they are not performing exercise daily. For those who won’t get enough free time in a day, it is good to use the staircase to reach their office and apartment so that the minimal body movement will be done. In conclusion, maintaining a healthy physique is necessary to avoid health issues and long-term disorders.
This
 can be achieved by regular workouts and a simple change in their routine.
Submitted by harsha.annapureddy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: