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Band 4.5

Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions
Gone are those days when people think that the playing sports is a futile activity. Organizing international sports events like the football
world
 cup is an effective way to improve relations between countries as well as in curtailing emotions of love in residents of those nations. I completely agree with
this
 view because these programs are crucial for maintaining the peace of the
world
. There are several compelling reasons to promote
such
 activities across the globe.
To begin
 with, there is
clear connection
Suggestion
a clear connection
 between the
economical
Suggestion
economic
 activity
with in
internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of
within
 a community and the
occurance
an event that happens
occurrence
 of
such
 sort of international events. More would be the influx of customers, more would be the purchasing and the selling activity. In
this
 way, living standards of the locals will rise and they will become satisfied about their country. Another contributing factor to release patriotic feelings is the winning in a particular game. In fact, it is not only about a
success but
Accept comma addition
success, but
also
 a continuous support for favourite team or athlete during the whole game which provide contentment to the followers.
For instance
, when France won the football
world
 cup in 2012, whole nation came out of their houses on roads to celebrate their victory, as a way to show their nationalism.
Last
 but not least, arrangement of particular games between two sides
bring
Suggestion
brings
 a sigh of relief to the
specif
clearly and explicitly stated
specified
 rival nationalities. Test cricket between Pakistan and India is a great illustration of
this
 phenomenon. When a series held in one region, individuals from other
area come
Accept comma addition
area, come
 to visit, which helps in creating more friendship connections among
masses
Suggestion
the masses
. To conclude, by analysing above view points, I
beileve
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believes
 that planning and application of
out door
located, suited for, or taking place in the open air
outdoor
 games at a huge
leve
a position on a scale of intensity or amount or quality
level
 is a key to
creat
make or cause to be or to become
create
great
 harmony in the
world
.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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