IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

#people #copy #magazines #tv #idea
Regular individuals commonly use media to copy different aspects of stars, since several of these artists have become role models
to
Suggestion
for
of
 the population.
Nevertheless
, I believe
this
 trend is negative to both media people and society. The
first
 motivation to repeat other's habits is that famous people are role models
to
Suggestion
for
 the ordinary population, thanks to their outstanding performances in the arts and sports,
as a result
, citizens feel encouraged to repeat their habits to achieve the same successful results.
For example
, many magazines publish athletes'
diets trainnings
Accept comma addition
diets, training
diets training
 when they have successful outcomes, which lead people to repeat.
Secondly
, the image of some artists
are sold
Suggestion
is sold
 as perfect, which convince regular people to follow regular diets and exercising habits in order to have the perfect body. Unfortunately, a permanent idea of copying artists affects citizens' mental health, since it is common to feel
frustared
disappointingly unsuccessful
frustrated
 and a loser when failing to achieve similar results,
therefore
, it increases anxiety and depression rates among the population.
For instance
, studies have shown that 80% of adult women have tried and failed to follow models' diets, which made them frustrated and
insatisfied
Suggestion
in satisfied
 with their bodies.
Additionally
, consumers tend to purchase more because of people on media, as they are regularly launching new fashions to be followed, as a consequence, buyers might negatively affect personal budgets with unnecessary products. To conclude, regular citizens repeat famous people's style and attitudes, because they aim to repeat the same goals.
However
,
this
 is negative because not only do
this
 behaviour affects their health, but
also
 their finances.
Submitted by bele_sales on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: