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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is more important. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, many people hold the view that
career
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 development is more important due to the fierce competition in the modern society. At the same
time
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, there are people who opine that those who live in the fast-paced life should slow down and spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with family and friends. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both sides of the debate before arriving at a conclusion.
To begin
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 with, there is no doubt that
career
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 development contributes to the improvement of people’s living standard and sense of fulfilment. It is possible to say that a person who tends to devote more
time
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 on his/her job pursues more financial return. The main reason for
this
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 is that financial
security now has
Suggestion
security has now
 become extremely vital to a family—a household not only has to bear the daily expenses that are continuously rising, but
also
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 pay the exorbitant tuition fee of its children.
In addition
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, a prestigious job brings an individual a sense of fulfilment including fame and higher social status.
However
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, others have the opinion that it is necessary for people to dedicate more
time
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 to their friends and family, since the fast pace of life somehow leads to the disintegration of families and relationships.
For example
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, parents who pursue money and
career
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 are more likely to neglect their children and the elders in their family; college graduates who seek better job opportunity choose to migrate to metropolises that are far away from their home. To summarize, there is no easy answer to
this
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 debate. On balance,
however
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, we have to admit that both
career
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 and family play a significant role in our lives.
Hence
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, it is important for us to balance these two aspects in order to make our life happier.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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