IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #university #students #study #range #subjects
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Due to
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 a highly compatible environment, today's students have been trying hard to get as much knowledge as possible.
That is
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 why it is believed that a wide list of subjects should be included in the university curriculum,
while
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 others opine that only specific subjects
are
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apply
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matter. I agree up to the point that the
wide
Correct word choice
wider
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spectrum
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the spectrum
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 of educated people
has
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, the more creative and interesting they are so intelligent differentiation is quite important.
However
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, only a thorough
studying
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study
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 of a certain subject differs an amateur from a true professional.
One
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 of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why I consider learning subjects variety
instead
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 of only specific ones
,
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apply
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 is that the world we live in is changeable.
In other words
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,
one
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 can hardly ever predict what will happen to them tomorrow and,
as a result
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, to feel
save
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safe
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 and
comfort
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comfortable
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one
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 should have a great range of knowledge, skills and experience to adjust to changes
of
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in
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 surroundings.
One
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 clear example of it is mine.
Although
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 my major occupation is project management, I was keen on languages and,
consequently
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, have been learning English and French since the time I was a student.
Then
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 when I
had
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made a decision to immigrate to Canada my knowledge helped me and saved
my
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me
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 time and money.
To sum up
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, our brain has been created to get as much information as possible so limiting ourselves
with
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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only
one
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 subject is a big mistake, which can lead to negative circumstances if something is changed in
one
Use synonyms
's career plans.

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task achievement
While you have a clear stance and offer some reasoning, it is important to fully address the prompt. Make sure your response covers both sides of the argument to some extent before concluding with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is reasonably well-organized, but the logical structure can be improved by clearly delineating between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will help in enhancing readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a clear structure to your essay.
task achievement
You provide a personal example which adds relevance and specificity to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • interdisciplinary
  • innovation
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • specialization
  • academic performance
  • cognitive overload
  • employability
  • workforce demands
  • niche areas
  • mastery
  • learning styles
  • career aspirations
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