Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sport #role #society #leisure #activity

Nowadays, sports are being recognized as being beneficial to society.

However

, others think that

sport

is just a

leisure

activity

. In my opinion, both views have credibility, which I will elaborate on in

this

essay.

(

Accept space

(

35 words) Undeniably, there are arguments saying that

sport

is nothing more than a

leisure

activity

Sport

can indeed be counted as a

leisure

activity

because not everyone has the abilities and potential to become a professional sports player.

Therefore

, people generally consider it as a simple

activity

for relaxing their mind and body during holidays. Apart from

this

, many families see

sport

as the way to strengthen the sense of belonging to the relatives, especially for children because parents' time is spent more to do job tasks and less care on them. (92)

However

, it is an undeniable fact that there are some reasons why

sport

is essential to society. One of the reasons is that people can become healthier than ever before. By playing sports frequently, people improve their health to help the government to reduce money to be allocated for health insurance for its citizens.

For example

, the number of people suffering obesity and heart attacks, today, has decreased significantly throughout the world because of the increased interest in playing sports

Accept space

Another reason is that the young generation is able to cultivate a good habit. With the rapid advancement of technology, they tend to do sedentary activities

such

as playing computer games and chatting through social media as well. If parents encourage their children to do

sport

instead

of playing games at home, children can improve their social interaction with peers. (141) All things considered,

although

some people believe that

sport

is merely a

leisure

activity

, I still think that

sport

plays an essential role in society because it has brought advantages to people in terms of health and social areas. (39)

Submitted by ssdattani on Thu Dec 12 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

national unity
physical health
mental health
social change
gender equality
social integration
disadvantaged communities
cultural barriers
escapism
commercialization
viewership
merchandise sales
inclusivity
accessibility
nationalistic fervor
racism
marginalization

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