IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #shops #food #drinks #health
Food and drinks proven systematically by scientists that bring detrimental effects on human health have aroused people's discussion whether it should be banned selling in stores.
This
 essay will elaborate the argument and share my viewpoint. Advocates for stopping selling the poisonous products may argue that the availability of these things would cause fatal disease to human beings.
However
, a harmful product is identified mostly based on its ingredients. In fact, several factors are advisable to not be added in any stages of making and preserving foods and drinks, which play an integral part in determining product's consumable levels.
Therefore
,
instead
 of prohibiting any type of foods or drinks, the government should be imposing laws on manufacturing procedures included preliminary stages in farming and planting.
For instance
, banning using growth factors in breeding poultry by which customers would have a healthier meal by buying
this
 quality raw chicken or duck meat.
On the other hand
, there has been a lot information based-evidence that certain products bring negative consequences if used frequently.
Hence
, it is more essential to raise public awareness in attaching foods and drinks ingredients and usage recommendation.
As a result
, each individual will be able to have a freedom of choice in choosing daily meals with a wide range of options with comprehensive information on each product. In conclusion, I strongly believe that any type foods and drinks significantly considered hazardous to people’s health by experts should not be permitted to sell if any banned element was added as well as no detailed ingredient was given.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientifically proven
  • bad for people's health
  • shops
  • allowed
  • disagree
  • freedom
  • choices
  • consume
  • banning
  • products
  • focus
  • educating
  • regulations
  • guidelines
  • nutritional information
  • packaging
  • promote
  • balanced diet
  • encourage
  • healthier choices
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