IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension
In every
job
, either in a private or a public
sector
, there is an
age
limit
. After that
age
, you are no longer required to perform your duties. Some jobs provide pension too after
retirement
. There are various
age
 groups in every organization and everyone wants to go higher. Without maximum
age
limit
, it would be difficult to grow. Because of the
job
, people get many benefits and a money. So, they run their families and life smoothly. It is evident that, the amount of pension and benefits after
retirement
, are very less compare to the normal
job
. There are exceptional cases where people are unable to perform their duties due illness those should be retired early. So, it's agreed that
age
limit
 must be define for everyone in any
job
 and yes, there must be provision of
retirement
 for them who are performing their duties honestly, but due to some issues they need
retirement
.
First
, the organizational structure of any
job
sector
 is like a pyramid. People move from bottom to top just like they are using a ladder. If there will be an
age
limit
,
then
 only they can reach to top. There is a lot of competition nowadays. Every
sector
 wants to thrive, they need new innovations and talented newcomer. So, without
age
limit
 it would be difficult to give chance to new talent.
Hence
, It's clear that a set
retirement
age
 is must for everyone and it's must have thing for every
sector
 of the
job
.
Secondly
, In private sectors, there are some cases, where a person is performing their duties well and
that is
 a star performer of the company. But, due to some unforeseen circumstances like
illeness
impairment of normal physiological function affecting part or all of an organism
illness
 or family issues. In these cases
instead
 of giving early
retirement
, they relieved from their duties without any
penson
a regular payment to a person that is intended to allow them to subsist without working
pension
pens on
pensions
 or benefits. In these cases, normally person wants
early retirment
Suggestion
an early retirement
early retirement
. We have seen
such
 cases in
public
Suggestion
the public sector
sector
also
.
Therefore
, there should be provision of early
retirement
 in all the
job
sector
. In summary, It is completely justified that, there should be
a
Suggestion
an
age
limit
 in all the
job
 sectors, irrespective of profession. And
also
, there must be
clause
Suggestion
a clause
 of early
retirement
 for those who have some special case.
Submitted by mustafa.5657 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: