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Writing Samples
Band 6

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsibility #students #amount #exercise
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The increasing ratio of obesity among children in Australia has dramatically increased. It is often argued that schools should focus on their
health
Use synonyms
 by managing their diet and
work out
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
workout
 schedule.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the parent's responsibility because children spend their maximum time with their parents, and the
teacher
Use synonyms
 is responsible for educating them to make them a good human being.
Firstly
Linking Words
, to curb
child
Use synonyms
 obesity, parents are the primary resource. Parents have prime importance in any
child
Use synonyms
's life. Parents are the ones who spend most of their time with their children and vice-versa.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have to check all the meal ingredients from the start of the day till the end —
also
Linking Words
, its parent's responsibility to give a healthy meal in Childs
tiffan
Suggestion
 for a school lunch break.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents have to maintain their kid's
health
Use synonyms
; they have to take them for sports activities like swimming or other outdoor sports on the ground periodically.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think, in terms of children's
health
Use synonyms
, the
teacher
Use synonyms
 can notify the parents. Sometimes both parents work and spending less time with children, so when teachers inform them, they can plan something regarding the
child
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
. The primary responsibility of a
teacher
Use synonyms
 is to educate the children and make them responsible citizens of society. That's why I believe that a
teacher
Use synonyms
 is not liable to monitor and maintain
child
Use synonyms
 diets and physical activity. To conclude, the increasing rate of childhood obesity in Australia is worrisome.
Linking Words
Therefore parents
Accept comma addition
Therefore, parents
 should manage their children's
health
Use synonyms
 by monitoring their diet and physical activities.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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