IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
In my opinion and regarding on what my family has taught me, I consider one person's worth is
definetely
without question and beyond doubt
definitely
 on their values, why for? Basically because I think nowadays is kind of difficult to find people who really want to show themselves to the world just like they really are, with no fear of some others judging them, even though that's why so many people try to incur in all these fake situations in which they prefer to being seen and recognized as something
in particular
, or with different type of material possessions, social status, social power, among others; and they don't see that what it really matters is all your values, your education you received either at home by your family or at school by your teachers, because at the end of the day all material possessions, social status, important job roles, etc can eventually disappear from one day to another and what it will always remain with you is all your values as a person.
Finally we
Accept comma addition
Finally, we
 should not
loose
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
lose
 track of our
values althought
Accept comma addition
values, although
values although
 we
notice
Suggestion
have noticed
 nowadays not so many people try to demonstrate them lets just make the difference.
Submitted by m_tapquir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: