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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people,rather than living with their adult children.Is it a positive or negative development？

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development？
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Living in an ever-changing world, there is an increasing trend that people tend to live in the
retirement
Use synonyms
 communities
instead
Linking Words
 of
with living with their
Suggestion
living with their
 children. Some people claim that it would bring a the positive influence to the whole society whereas others stands with an opposite opinion. In my view, the former statement seems more reasonable. The reasons for of promoting
this
Linking Words
 trend could be divided into two aspects -- the individual and social level.
First
Linking Words
 of all, on an individual level, the burden of taking care of parents could be slightly alleviated with the emerge of
retirement
Use synonyms
 communities. There is no denying that it definitely would take a considerable amount of time and energy to take care of their parents.
However
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,
such
Linking Words
 communities could share the shoulder of responsibility of the children.
Besides
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, concentrating on the social aspect, chances are high that the
retirement
Use synonyms
 communities facilitate much more social bonds. Some experts claim that it could be witnessed a solitude atmosphere among older people the based on the reasons that their children cannot spare the sufficient time to company with them.
Nevertheless
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, the impression could be broken with communities, boosting the interaction among the retired people. In conclusion, the
influnences
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influences
 of
retirement
Use synonyms
 communities are positive not only for the individual, but
also
Linking Words
 for the whole society.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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