the growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to rapid change in lifestyle, sedentary life has become normal among all sections of people. The increase in
number
Suggestion
the number
of individuals who are overweight posing a serious threat to the
health
care system in order to deal with the repercussions. Some are of
opine
Suggestion
opinion
that the efficient solution to
this
issue, is to introduce physical training courses as part of children syllabus. I completely agree with
this
statement as
this
is the perfect solution to tackle the problems associated with the obesity.
To begin
with, issues related to overweight and its consequences can be tackled by implementing sports in the school curriculum. By
this
way, students can learn the
health
benifits
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
of engaging in physical games as part of their daily routine.
For example
, if the administration made mandatory to pass the physical test,
this
automatically motivates all individuals to take up the
challange
take exception to
challenge
.
In addition
to that, it not only motivates them to become fitter, but
also
realises them how
health
is essential in order to pursue their goals. Another point to consider is that having sport lessons in school gives confidence to perform at an international level and can represent one's country.
This
encourages other parents to join their kids in
gym
Suggestion
the gym
. By implementing these methods, it not only improves the
health
of
community
Suggestion
the community
, but
also
motivates individuals to take part in games that gives competitiveness among juvenile.
Therefore
,
this
is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public
health
. In conclusion, due to modern sedentary lifestyle, public
health
is deteriorating. In order to deal with the individuals who are unfit, introducing sports is the optimal solutions for all generations.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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