IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that research into family history is useful for the next generations, while others claim that present and future are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #generations #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, modern
people
 are keen to research
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family history and ancestors. In
this
 regard, some individuals believe that humans' future and present
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 essential rather than their past. After pondering
this
 phenomenon, personally, I tend to think that exploring the past life of the ancestry is crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
predicting the prospective On the one hand,
people
 may get to know about their origin more if they start investigating their past. Nowadays, it is true that many
people
 are willing to forecast the prospective lifestyle of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind, and knowing the past is the key component
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 prediction.
Furthermore
, the study
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family history can be extremely useful for the x generation, as the modern world is filled with new challenges. In
this
 regard, the previous experiences and knowledge of the elderly
people
 can solve the problems relating to their contrary.
On the other hand
, some
people
 are reckoned to think that focusing on the prospective life is crucial.
It is clear that
 ancestors' knowledge may not help with the new obstacles
such
 as global warming, climate change and overpopulation, as they did not experience them.
Moreover
, many
people
 believe that in the future, the origin of the individuals will not be as important as now. To illustrate, after the
civil war
Correct your spelling
Civil War
show examples
 in the USA, the greatest number of slaves had reached
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom and independence, and now they live with indigenous Europeans in peace and silence. In conclusion,
although
 many
people
 are not willing to learn about their history, I believe that past attainments and practice
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 vital for forecasting the future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and preparing for the new challenges.
In addition
 to
this
, the next generation
also
 will get a benefit and advantage.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and presenting a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: