Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that
children
should be motivated to be competitive,
while
others feel that cooperation is a more important value to establish in the young. I believe that
while
competition can help
children
be successful, cooperation is more important because it teaches them to
work
within a
team
, a crucial skill for them to possess as they enter adulthood. Some argue that it is important that young people are pushed to be the best they can possibly be in whatever pursuit they take
part
in.
This
drive to win boosts their
work
ethic and teaches them that hard
work
and discipline are the keys to success.
For example
, it was shown in a recent study by Queen’s University that students who won something in sports before they reached the age of 14 were 42% more likely to go on to third-level education than those who did not. Despite
this
, I would argue that the development of a child requires not only a will to win
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
lessons on the value of teamwork. Working as
part
of a
team
,
on the other hand
, strengthens our empathy,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
selflessness and makes us more responsible toward others.
This
means that
children
who are taught cooperation will be better prepared for adult life because the ability to
work
as
part
of a
team
is highly regarded in the workplace and in families.
For example
, Michael Jordan was often criticised by his coaches for being too competitive in practice and overly critical of his teammates and he had to change for the sake of his
team
. I
therefore
believe that teaching
children
to
work
with others is more important than giving them a sense of competition. In conclusion,
while
instilling a sense of competition in
children
can help them succeed, I think that teaching
children
to be cooperative gives them the ability to
work
as a
part
of
team
Add an article
a team
the team
show examples
, which is far more valuable later in life.
Submitted by bansal.satyam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: