Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that selflessness and makes us more responsible toward others.
children
should be motivated to be competitive, while
others feel that cooperation is a more important value to establish in the young. I believe that while
competition can help children
be successful, cooperation is more important because it teaches them to work
within a team
, a crucial skill for them to possess as they enter adulthood. Some argue that it is important that young people are pushed to be the best they can possibly be in whatever pursuit they take part
in. This
drive to win boosts their work
ethic and teaches them that hard work
and discipline are the keys to success. For example
, it was shown in a recent study by Queen’s University that students who won something in sports before they reached the age of 14 were 42% more likely to go on to third-level education than those who did not. Despite this
, I would argue that the development of a child requires not only a will to win,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
lessons on the value of teamwork. Working as part
of a team
, on the other hand
, strengthens our empathy,Correct word choice
and
This
means that children
who are taught cooperation will be better prepared for adult life because the ability to work
as part
of a team
is highly regarded in the workplace and in families. For example
, Michael Jordan was often criticised by his coaches for being too competitive in practice and overly critical of his teammates and he had to change for the sake of his team
. I therefore
believe that teaching children
to work
with others is more important than giving them a sense of competition. In conclusion, while
instilling a sense of competition in children
can help them succeed, I think that teaching children
to be cooperative gives them the ability to work
as a part
of team
, which is far more valuable later in life.Add an article
a team
the team
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite