IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.

The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.
#steel #rods #furniture #industry
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The given process diagram provides information about steel
Use synonyms
rods
Fix the agreement mistake
rod
show examples
 manufacturing in the industry which makes furniture.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process
consist
Change the verb form
consists
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 of eleven stages, beginning with
processing
Add an article
the processing
show examples
 of raw material and ending up with
inspection
Add an article
an inspection
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 of
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 product. First of all, raw materials
such
Linking Words
 as iron ore, yellow ore and carbon etc are mixed together in a container.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 raw material mixture is subjected to
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 temperature of about 1300 to 1500 C for melting.
This
Linking Words
 molten mass is
then
Linking Words
 transferred to
smelting
Correct article usage
the smelting
show examples
 cabin for its refinement. In the
next
Linking Words
 stage,
condescent
Correct your spelling
condescend
candescent
 metal is allowed to pour into
ingot
Correct article usage
the ingot
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 machine. Ingot pour is
further
Linking Words
 attached to a cooling container and the metal is passed through nozzles to strand casting. The temperature of
metal
Correct article usage
the metal
show examples
 dropped to 60-100 C at
this
Linking Words
 level.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, these
coldcstrands
Correct your spelling
cold strands
 of metals are allowed to pass through rollers and heating
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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. After hearing, surface checks of these metal
rods
Use synonyms
 are done through measuring automation. After measurement,
cutter
Correct article usage
the cutter
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 cut down the
rods
Use synonyms
 to
appropriate
Correct article usage
the appropriate
show examples
 size and these
standard sized
Add a hyphen
standard-sized
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 metal
rods
Use synonyms
 are stamped in
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 step.
Finally
Linking Words
, at the
last
Linking Words
 stage final inspection is done for
release
Add an article
the release
show examples
 of
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 product.
Submitted by hinasevenstar on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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