The diagram illustrate how steel rods aee manufactured in the furniture industry.

#steel #rods #aee #furniture #industry

The given process chart

demonstrate

Change the verb form

demonstrates

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the way in which steel

rods

are produced in the furniture industry.

Overall

, the process

consist

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consists

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of eleven stages beginning with the raw material and

ended

Wrong verb form

ending

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up with the inspection of

final

Add an article

the final

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product.

Initially

, iron ore yellow ore and carbon are collected as

Correct article usage

apply

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raw

material

Fix the agreement mistake

materials

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for steel

rods

Fix the agreement mistake

rod

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manufacturing.After that,the raw material is melted in a melting slit where it is heated to a temperature of about 1300-1500 C.The melted mass is

then

transferred to a smelting cabin for refining.

, the

condenscent

Correct your spelling

condensed

metal is put in a pouring machine and poured into ingots. In the

stage,the ingots are connected to a cooling reservoir where the operating temperature is 60-100 C.After that metal goes through nozzles and cools down.

Further

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,Further

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the metal strands are allowed to pass through rollers to alter their shape.

, the products are inserted into a heating machine where they undergo heat treatment.

Subsequently

Add a comma

,Subsequently

show examples

Remove the article

apply

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measuring automation

check

Change the verb form

checks

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the surface of the products.

Then

,metal

rods

are provided

proper

Correct article usage

the proper

show examples

size by

special

Add an article

the special

a special

show examples

cutter.

Following

this

,manufactured

rods

get ID stamping.Eventually, the products are moved for inspection to check

any

Change preposition

for any

show examples

errors or deviations.

Wed Dec 18 2019

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words rods with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram illustrate how steel rods aee manufactured in the furniture industry.

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the reals need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

More and more people are choosing to work from home. Is this a positive or negative development.

Many people believe that teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree or disagree?