In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

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In
the
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apply
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some countries,
for example
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:
USA
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the USA
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, Australia, UK, they encourage teenagers to get a
job
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while
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they are studying and in my opinion
this
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is a good idea.
Hence
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, in
this
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essay
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essay,
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I would like to express the reasons why
this
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should be encouraged. There are three main reasons why we would encourage teenagers to take up any
job
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while
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they are still studying.
Firstly
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, once they acquire a
job
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, they would get
a
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apply
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first-hand experience
on
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in
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how to deal with different kinds of individuals from different backgrounds. In every
job
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sector, we will have to deal with people of different nationalities.
Hence
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, interacting with people before starting their
carrier
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career
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is very important.
Secondly
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, we live in a world where the value of money is undermined by children.
Therefore
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, once they start working, it would give them an understanding of how important it is to save and use money wisely.
Furthermore
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, they would
also
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start being more responsible in their life.
Finally
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, as the interest rate for student loans
have
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has
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increased
the
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in the
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past couple of years and it has become more difficult to pay it off, it is a good initiative to allow students to take up jobs
while
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they are still studying to pay
of
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off
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the loans at the earliest.
In addition
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, if they are from a poorer background, their extra income would
also
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help to support their family. In conclusion, teenagers should take up any
job
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while
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they are studying and it should be encouraged and promoted in other countries as well.
Submitted by anusalome93 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples for each reason to further support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the link between ideas and paragraphs is clear and logical, and consider using transition words for smoother connections between sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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