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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct.

#world #work #risk #mistakes
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In today's world, we cannot deny that technology has a private role in our lives. People use technology (to do their
works
Suggestion
work
 faster than past
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
 sometimes technology lead us a more
mistake
) to help them to use their task faster than the past. But a controversial question that arises among people is whether we should
work
 quickly and take
risks even
Accept comma addition
risks, even
 though we do our
works
Suggestion
work
 by
mistake
. Some people believe that speed is very fundamental in today's world, so we should do our
works
Suggestion
work
 as soon as possible. The other people think that if you accept one task you should do it correctly and it is more important than speed. I agree with the
second
 group because of two crucial reasons. In what follows, I will pinpoint my causes. The
first
 noteworthy reason is that some of the mistakes are irreparable and the companies or people should spend a lot of money or
time
 to fix the problem.
Hence
, I think each person should do his or her
work
correct even
Accept comma addition
correct, even
 though he or she spent plenty of
time
 on that.
For instance
, my friend Zahra worked for a famous company in Tehran. She always is in a hurry and did her
work
 quickly without any precise. One day he
did
produced by a manufacturing process
made
 a bad
mistake
 in her calculation and the company loses a lot of its investment because of her
mistake
.
Therefore
, my friend fired and the company spent a lot of money to compensate for the
mistake
 of her. The
second
 convincing reason is that in the end, we can say that the people who
work
 slower and more accurate than other people can save more
time
.
Group
Suggestion
A group
 of scientists at Harvard University
design
Suggestion
designs
 an experiment about
this
 issue. They investigate two groups of people. The
first
 group consists of people who do more risk in comparison to the other groups. At the end of the experiment, people, who did the risk, did much more mistakes and they force to compensate for their
mistake
.
Hence
, the groups who
work
 slower finished their general works sooner than the
first
 group. In short, all the reasons, as mentioned above, lead us to the conclusion that we should do our
works
Suggestion
work
 slowly and correctly. If we did our works correct, we will get a better result in the end.
Submitted by farnaz.khodakhah on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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