IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Should parents be obliged to immunize thier children against childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

#parents #immunize #thier #children #childhood #diseases #individuals #right #immunise
The issue of whether we should force parents to immunise their children against common diseases is, in my opinion, a social rather than a medical question. Since we are free to choose what we expose our bodies to in the way of food, drink, or religion for that matter, why should the question of medical “treatment” be any different? Medical researchers and governments are primarily interested in overall statistics and trends
and in money saving
Suggestion
and money saving
 schemes which fail to take into consideration the individual’s concerns and rights. While
immunisation
 against diseases
such
 as tetanus and whooping cough may be effective, little information is released about the harmful effects of vaccinations which can sometimes result in stunted growth or even death. The body is designed to resist disease and to create its own natural immunity through contact with that disease. So when children are given artificial immunity, we create a vulnerable society which is entirely dependent on
immunisation
. In the event that mass
immunisation
 programmes were to cease, the society as a whole would be more at risk than ever before.
In
addition there
Accept comma addition
addition, there
 is the issue of the rights of the individual. As members of a
society why
Accept comma addition
society, why
 should we be obliged to subject our children to
this
 potentially harmful practice? Some people may
also
 be against
immunisation
 on religious grounds and their needs must
also
 be considered. For these reasons I feel strongly that
immunisation
 programmes should not be obligatory and that the individual should have the right to choose whether or not to participate.
Submitted by gopaalsinggla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: