Shopping is now one of the most popular form of leisure activity in many countries for young,adult, what do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Now a

days

Suggestion

day's

shopping is very famous not in

youths but

Accept comma addition

youths, but

adult

also

Linking Words

However

Linking Words

, shopping is easy because of lots of mediums available.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern

world there

Accept comma addition

world, there

are various easily accessible

medium

Suggestion

media

Accept space

such

Linking Words

as online shopping, which save our time and energy

also

Linking Words

provide try and change facilities.

Although

Linking Words

, there are several shopping

website

Suggestion

websites

, who advertise their offers and scheme on social media. The presence of social media like

facbook

Suggestion

Facebook

instagram

Suggestion

and many more

also

Linking Words

attract people for shopping. Some shopping website

use

Suggestion

uses

these social media sites and upload their expensive and attractive stuff on these

application

Suggestion

applications

to get

consumer

Suggestion

consumed

As a

Linking Words

result people

Accept comma addition

result, people

get attracted by these fancy goods and buy them.

In addition

Linking Words

, not only online shopping

sites but

Accept comma addition

sites, but

also

Linking Words

local market, attract people, who like to shop because local market

also

Linking Words

have variety now, in their collection as well as in offers. As every coin

have

Suggestion

has

two sides, looking at the other side, unnecessary shopping activity may

caused

Suggestion

cause

the loans and debt on people.

Some times

Suggestion

Sometimes

people do shopping just to refresh their mind or to show off their

status

Accept comma addition

status, such

such

Linking Words

as one of my friend purchase two dress on

diwali

Suggestion

Diwali

occasion

Accept space

who she really do not need, she

buy

Suggestion

buys

has bought

these dress

Suggestion

this dress

these dresses

just for some offers

also

Linking Words

she used the credit card she did not have sufficient fund for buying that dress.

Linking Words

Consequently she

Accept comma addition

Consequently, she

have

Suggestion

has

to pay credit card bill

with out

in absence of

without

standing amount and interest.

Suggestion

conclusion, as we

are educated

Suggestion

are educating

educate

youth, we should

analise

consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning

analyse

our need and requirements and only do shopping according to the budget. So we can avoid unnecessary loans and

emi's

weapons considered collectively

arms

Dec 19, 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

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Shopping is now one of the most popular form of leisure activity in many countries for young,adult, what do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people consider sports to be their career. For others, it is mostly a workout to stay fit. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?