IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is this a true indicator of the success of a business and in what other ways could success in a business be measured?

#people #judge #someone’s #success #business #amount #money #indicator
In
this
 globalised era, the establishment of a new
business
 is highly increased. Certainly, few people reckon that the quantum of
money
 earned in a
business
 is the ultimate factor to determine a personal achievement, whereas there are other parts like trust and reputations, which are highly conducive to assess victory of the company. In
this
 essay, I shall explain the reasons for the latter viewpoint, along with the other contributing methods to estimate the success rate. On the one hand, there are myriad reasons to claim the
money
 as a deciding factor for success in a
business
 man's life.
First
 and foremost,
money
 has the highest visibility, while it is directly connected with the status of a person, whereas it shows via the lifestyle of an individual. A businessman,
for instance
, who possesses a huge revenue would definitely upgrade his living style like, a house, an expensive car, and other real-estate properties and so on.
Consequently
, people could find that the
business
 person made the biggest turnover in his firms through the visibility.
On the contrary
, while it is true that the profit gained through the
business
 could depict a man's victory,
this
 could not be considered as the exact symbol of achievement.
Firstly
, a good conglomerate could be recognised by the reputation it earns through the proper administrations like, providing a regular salary to staffs, maintaining high-end infrastructure, tie-up with overseas traders, and
finally
 the revenue it generates. Since, all these aspects are interlinked with one another, if failing to satisfy one condition could end up in a massive pitfall for
this
 private firm,
hence
, the reliability is paramount. In conclusion, the quantum of
money
 earned by a person in his
business
 might depict his supremacy, but still, there are other factors like standards and honour would be a relevant factor to ascertain an individual victory.
Submitted by valliananthi2101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: