IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing. Why is that happening? What will be the effects of it to the family and the society?

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
In most regions of the world, the ritual of having
meals
Use synonyms
 with family is fading away.
This
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 is a consequence of the busy schedule and globalization. I believe that
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 is not good for
people
Use synonyms
 and leads to disintegrated and unhealthy families. To start with, the major reason why families are unable to have
meals
Use synonyms
 together is the busy schedule and aspirations of the current generation.
People
Use synonyms
 in current times are very competitive and aspire to have
high profile
Add a hyphen
high-profile
show examples
 lives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they take up highly paid jobs and end up having a busy lifestyle / schedule.
Secondly
Linking Words
, addiction to social media has led to a
situation
Use synonyms
 where
people
Use synonyms
 are only interested in their virtual friends.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 leaves them with no time for their family.
Finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 global world coordinate and work with teams located in different time zones leading to changes in lifestyle and mealtimes. The above
situation
Use synonyms
 has led to detrimental effects on the family life. The most vulnerable members of the family are children and they start to disassociate themselves
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the family and lose their appetite
as a result
Linking Words
. Children in current times have their
meals
Use synonyms
 in school with no family members, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a lot of psychological impact on their mental health.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it leads to
people
Use synonyms
 having quick breaks with no proper
meals
Use synonyms
 with the family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it results in a
situation
Use synonyms
 where
people
Use synonyms
 get affected with diseases like diabetes, acidity and other digestive imbalances.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are no longer having
meals
Use synonyms
 with their families because of their busy lifestyle and addiction to visual media. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 hurts their relations and their health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: