IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #pocket #money #week #adults
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A small amount of
money
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 is given by a parent to their children in the form of
pocket
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money
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 each week in order to manage them properly so that they do not face any difficulties while becoming an
adult
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. I,
however
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, agree with
this
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 in two ways.
Firstly
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, providing
money
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 every week will prevent the feeling of robbery among adolescence.
This
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 is because most children have enough desire to be fulfilled by their parents.
However
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, if
such
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 wishes are not attended
then
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 many of them would steal the
money
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 or the things.
As a result
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, they could rob or plan a bigger crime in future.
Thus
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, giving a small amount of
money
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 to them at an early age would never rise the feeling for stealing any things and could allow them to mature
adult
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. Another way is saving and expenses. Most parents encourage their children by giving
pocket
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money
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 every week and often teach them for proper utilization of
such
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money
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 so that they could save a small amount of
money
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 for future.
This
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 is because when they become
adult
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 they would not find it difficult to handle their expenditure from their income which is earned in the form of salary or wages.
In contrast
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, if they are not learned at an early age about
such
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 basic principle of expenses, will result hard for them to handle at the time of
adult
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. In conclusion, not only does
pocket
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money
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, eliminate the feeling of robbery while teenage, but
also
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 encourages to learn simple fundamentals of saving the
money
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 for the future.
Therefore
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, I agree that there is no harm by giving
pocket
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money
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 at an early age to children to become promising
adult
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.
Submitted by jdsmss on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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