IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say smoking should be banned on public places. To what extent do u agree or disagree?

#people #places
Active and Smoking are injurious
for
Suggestion
to
 health of a person. Some people
believes
Suggestion
believe
 that smoking
on
Suggestion
in
 public areas should be restricted. I strongly favour
this
 idea of prohibiting it as it pollute the surroundings.
Firstly
, smoking in public place is not suitable space to do as it
effects
have an effect upon
affects
 other people. It is high time that
government
Suggestion
the government
 should prohibit the smoking by implementing some laws and fines to the common citizens so that it would serve a lesson for others as well.
In addition
, a person
who is smoker
Suggestion
who is a smoker
 and smokes
everywhere but
Accept comma addition
everywhere, but
 never think that he is creating difficulties for others. As passive smoking is a big issue in the century rather than active one. Take an example, if
husband
Suggestion
a husband
the husband
 is consuming
ciagerret
finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking
cigarette
 in front of his
wife
Accept comma addition
wife, then
then
 it will cause more to her
instead
 of him.
Secondly
, by prohibiting it government can reduce the problem of pollution in the
air which
Accept comma addition
air, which
 is because of smoking at public premises. Smoking invites diseases like asthma, breathing which is due to poor quality of air that a person inhales through his/her lungs.
On the contrary
, banning
smoke
Suggestion
smoking
 can be
problem
Suggestion
problematic
 for those who are addicted to it.There should be some area in which
smoke
 can be allowed for those who cannot survive without it.
For instance
, in
developed
Suggestion
developing
 nations
,
Accept space
,
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
has given
Suggestion
have given
separate place
Suggestion
a separate place
 to the smokers to
smoke
. To conclude, smoking in public premises should be restricted by government. I think it is important for everyone that they should not
smoke
at
Suggestion
in
 public buildings as active smoking is directly related to the passive which cause huge damage to the passive smoker rather than active one.
Submitted by purva820 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: