IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities
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(THE
)
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)
Amalgamation of multicultural people in one
country
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 brings some questions.
This
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 trend not only makes people's lives more enjoyable through sharing different views, but
also
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 assists to thrive by sharing new ideas. I completely agree with
this
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 view
;
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;
this
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 essay will discuss the benefits of co-existence of diverse cultures.
To begin
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, when people from different countries and different cultures meet together in one
country
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, their lives become more enjoyable. People always find unique cultural things more fascinating that are sometimes impossible to experience from the home
country
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, but A mixture of a (numbers) NUMBER of nationals (make) MAKES it possible.
For instance
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, The USA, the land of diverse cultures, is said to be the most happiest nation
COUNTRY
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 in the world (that's) WHERE people enjoy different cultures rigorously.
In addition
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, people from developing countries generally prefer to move to developed countries where they can earn more money and live quality lives that makes them feel happy.
Furthermore
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, the
country
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, which is followed by A diverse group of people from around the world, (develop) DEVELOPS rapidly. Because only talented people with effective ideas do venture to settle in a new
country
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, causing development in that
country
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 (more -REMOVE
)
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)
rapidly.
Canada
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Canada, for
for example
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, which is considered the most successful
country
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 in the
world having
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world, having
 been a (
diversed
many and different
diverse
) DIVERSE cultural system that makes sure the influx of talented people who are contributing in the development of the
country
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 in every way, like economical and technological development. To conclude, I believe, by sharing different ways of life and knowledge from a multicultural environment pleases people more as well as flourish the
country
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.
Submitted by naziya.bustani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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