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Band 5.5

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities
(THE
)
Accept space
)
Amalgamation of multicultural people in one
country
 brings some questions.
This
 trend not only makes people's lives more enjoyable through sharing different views, but
also
 assists to thrive by sharing new ideas. I completely agree with
this
 view
;
Accept space
;
this
 essay will discuss the benefits of co-existence of diverse cultures.
To begin
, when people from different countries and different cultures meet together in one
country
, their lives become more enjoyable. People always find unique cultural things more fascinating that are sometimes impossible to experience from the home
country
, but A mixture of a (numbers) NUMBER of nationals (make) MAKES it possible.
For instance
, The USA, the land of diverse cultures, is said to be the most happiest nation
COUNTRY
 in the world (that's) WHERE people enjoy different cultures rigorously.
In addition
, people from developing countries generally prefer to move to developed countries where they can earn more money and live quality lives that makes them feel happy.
Furthermore
, the
country
, which is followed by A diverse group of people from around the world, (develop) DEVELOPS rapidly. Because only talented people with effective ideas do venture to settle in a new
country
, causing development in that
country
 (more -REMOVE
)
Accept space
)
rapidly.
Canada
Accept comma addition
Canada, for
for example
, which is considered the most successful
country
 in the
world having
Accept comma addition
world, having
 been a (
diversed
many and different
diverse
) DIVERSE cultural system that makes sure the influx of talented people who are contributing in the development of the
country
 in every way, like economical and technological development. To conclude, I believe, by sharing different ways of life and knowledge from a multicultural environment pleases people more as well as flourish the
country
.
Submitted by naziya.bustani on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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