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Band 7.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and so it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
Nowadays, many teenagers are assessed to commit a
crime
.
Although
 some claim that after having a long term punishment in the jail, these people are not better to share the detrimental effect of commencing an offence to teenagers, I,
however
, disagree with
this
 statement for two reasons. One concern in terms of doing an unlawful act is having a guilt for the entire life. The criminals are the people who become worthy citizens later can share their experience with the adults who are going to hit the illegal
crime
, and
also
 how they have to confront
this
 humiliation whenever they cross over the crowd.
Besides
this
, they have to face the work related problems
such
 as often
such
 prisoners are not able to get their desired jobs.
Therefore
, they have no alternate rather than accepting a low-level job unwillingly. A vulnerability in the jail faced by the criminal is another area of the concern. Becoming a good citizen these prisoners can deter youngsters from doing criminal activities by sharing how they were treated in the prison when they attempted the
crime
such
 as, by having one time improper meal, missing loved one, and living in extremely dark place with other criminal companions. These conditions can make teenagers think twice before doing any activity which is not lawful. In conclusion, not only do criminals who become good citizen help the adults deterring the
crime
 activities, but
also
 make them aware of danger effect which they would face after doing illegal work by sharing their experience.
Therefore
, I believe these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a
crime
.
Submitted by jdsmss on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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