IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that studying abroad is the best way to improve career opportunities. Others think it is better to study in your home country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
There is no denying the fact that learning abroad and in your home
country
Use synonyms
 improves and develops your skills and your chances of achieving your goals.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that some
people
Use synonyms
 think that studying abroad is the better way to improve career opportunities,
whereas
Linking Words
 Others think it is better to study in your home
country
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,studying in different
countries
Use synonyms
 is a good chance for
people
Use synonyms
 to have career opportunities
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 develop their lives.
In other words
Linking Words
, learning aboard teach
students
Use synonyms
 to responsibilty and prevent to dependence on others, having new skills ,
such
Linking Words
 as new language, critical thinking, and solving problems.
In addition
Linking Words
, expand knowledge about learn more about different cultures and tradition their
countries
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, governments can invest more money to send their
students
Use synonyms
 abroad to study in schools and universities to exchange educational experience, which benefit to develop
countries
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, studying in your home
country
Use synonyms
 has many advantages , the most important being safer and protect studets
this
Linking Words
 is because some
countries
Use synonyms
 are dangerous for international
students
Use synonyms
, where most criems happened for them. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that it helps the
country
Use synonyms
 to develop and improve its economy.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 become more protective of values, principles, and traditions.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 forget their identity when they leave their
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views. I tend to believe that studying in different
countries
Use synonyms
 will be a good chance for
people
Use synonyms
 to learn a new language, which will be useful in their career because some companies search for
this
Linking Words
 type of skill.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear at the end, but each side needs a bit more support.
task response
Add clearer main ideas at the start of each body paragraph, then explain them with simple support.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and real. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, but some sentences do not link well.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, on the other hand, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because some parts are hard to follow.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You used separate paragraphs for each side, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is clear and matches your opinion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: