IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Bleching and unauthorised behaviour is unacceptable in modern offices. How far you support this view ? Give your response with justification.

#behaviour #offices #support #justification
Urbanisation and evolution of technology has changed the way people work. They are now more organised and vigilant about their office culture. Cut
throught
the passage to the stomach and lungs; in the front part of the neck below the chin and above the collarbone
throat
through
competetion
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competition
 among
collegue
the body of faculty and students of a college
college
colleagues
colleges
 force them to focus more on throughput rather than
inter personal
occurring among or involving several people
interpersonal
 relationship building. Every individual must discourage unauthorised behaviour and I will support my view with certain examples.
Firstly
, human behaviour is predictable. Based on which there are predefined rules and those who disobey the law must be punished. Behaviour like unethically disclosing the classified information for personal benefit or betraying co-worker by hiding important documents. These acts can hamper the image of any company and in
long run
Suggestion
the long run
a long run
 can lead to a shutdown.
Secondly
, personal attack on someone based upon their creed, cast,
color
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
 or shape must be strictly retaliated by
authotiries
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
authorities
.
Otherwise
, it will become a norm and people will get demoralised in their workplace.
This
 could lead to a paradigm shift and destroy the harmony of
multi cultural
of or relating to or including several cultures
multicultural
 nature of any office. Overall, In my opinion I strongly
beleive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 that work culture in modern offices must
impliment
apply in a manner consistent with its purpose or design
implement
 tough rules against those who are involved in unauthorised behaviour. People must respect co-workers and help each other to
acheive
to gain with effort
achieve
 the common goal of an organisation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: