IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you thing the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#countries #people #cars #environment
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In
Suggestion
On
 modern country people lead to have more cars. In
this
Linking Words
assay
an analytic or interpretive literary composition
essay
 I will explain the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 issue to individual and disadvantages for our environment.
First
Linking Words
, if people have own
car
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 that's mean any time the transportation will be available and comfortable
.
Accept space
.
 So the employment will reach their jobs
on
Suggestion
at
 the time and student will not be late at the school. No excuse of why I am late
.
Accept space
.
Any place you can go without limitation and you will stop your
car
Use synonyms
 near the place you want but if you use public traffic. You spend more period and it will stop many
time
Suggestion
times
 till you reach the area you want
,
Accept space
,
may be
by chance
maybe
 you will stand if all chairs are occupied in buses or train
.
Accept space
.
at
Suggestion
At
 the end
,
Accept space
,
 the park station will be not exactly near your aim. There are Alister of negative point of having your
car
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
 It will be
have
Suggestion
having
 more traffic congestion and air pollution and
noisy
Suggestion
noise
 atmosphere
,
Accept space
,
also
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 the traffic accident will be
increase
Suggestion
an increase
with
Suggestion
in
car
Use synonyms
 crowding
.
Accept space
.
If We use bike or public transport it can help to reduce carbon dioxide or any
hazards
Suggestion
hazard
 gases that it is result of cars. We need to keep our culture and field are safe and
air
Suggestion
the air
 is clean and natural environment. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 in spite of benefit of own
car
Use synonyms
 transport, there
are
Suggestion
is
 a lot of important disadvantages view of that in our
environmen
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
, that
should be keep
Suggestion
should keep
should be kept
 in our mind before
decide
Suggestion
deciding
 to buy any vehicle. To
precive
keep or maintain in unaltered condition; cause to remain or last
preserve
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and keep clean and naturals day
that is
Linking Words
 our responsibility.
Submitted by ssholah on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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