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Writing Samples
Band 6

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits.

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defence
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There is no doubt that the primary role of a
government
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 is to protect its citizens from threats.
Therefore
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, many people argued that the
government
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 should increase spending on
defence
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, but spend less on social benefits.
Although
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 spending on
defence
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 or military can ensure citizens’ safety, it is crucial to spend
money
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 on social benefits to improve our social welfare. On the one hand, improving and strengthening the armed
force
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 and military is essential for a country as it protects citizens from threats. By spending more
money
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 on
defence
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, the
government
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 enables the arm
force
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 to deter aggressive neighbour countries and terrorists in which want to attack the country.
Consequently
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, it does not only limits the war, but
also
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 prevents the death of innocents and damaging properties.
Therefore
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, by putting more taxes to improve
defence
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force
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, it can enhance the safety of our society and protecting the citizens from harmful threats.
On the other hand
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, spending
money
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 on social benefits
is crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but
Suggestion
has crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but also helped
also crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but helps
is crucial not only to improve the standard of society’s living but also help
also
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 help our community to develop.
For example
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, the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on building more public services
such
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 as hospitals and educational institutions, as it ensures people are able to satisfy their fundamental needs.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 helps our community’s economy as it creates more career opportunities.
Consequently
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, it
also
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 improves our nation’s standing in the world economy.
Therefore
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, the act of spending more
money
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 on social benefits creates a variety of distinct advantage not only to the citizens but
also
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 to our society. In conclusion, spending more
money
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 on
defence
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force
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 can enhance the safety of our society.
However
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, the
government
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 should not spend less on social benefits as it has a variety of distinct advantages not only for the citizens but
also
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 for our community.
Submitted by siyuruan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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