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Band 6

Education is the greatest force for change and offers the greatest opportunity for hope about the future of our society.

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Introduction
It is true that
education
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 is the greatest force for change as people can gain knowledge and skills.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people would not only improve their intelligence, but
also
Linking Words
 improve their standard of living. As the number of people who are receiving standard
education
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 increases, I believe that
society
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 would develop to a higher
level
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.
Body paragraph 1
Education
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 is a crucial factor that allows people to learn vital skills and knowledges in order to receive qualifications for jobs. There is a significant difference between people who receive a favourable
level
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 of
education
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 and people who do not receive any educations at all.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people who receive educations will gain a good qualification, and are more likely to find generously salaried jobs than those people who do not receive educations.
Hence
Linking Words
,
education
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 takes a significant role in helping people to improve their
level
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 of living.
Body paragraph 2
As mentioned above,
education
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 allows people to find generously salaried jobs.
However
Linking Words
, it can
also
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 improve our
society
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 as higher
education
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 allows people to gain qualification to become professionals who can help our
society
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,
for example
Linking Words
, doctors, teachers, and policemen.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 improves our
society
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’s economy as people can find a high salary job and pay higher taxes to the government.
Hence
Linking Words
, the government has more money to use for the improvement of public services and build more infrastructures.
Consequently
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, all of these factors will raise our
society
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 to a higher
level
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 in the future.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
education
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 is the greatest force for change as people can find high salaried jobs to improve their
level
Use synonyms
 of livings.
Also
Linking Words
, high salaried jobs will result in higher taxes for the government to use, which can upgrade public services and infrastructures.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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