IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people #development
The
world
 is constantly changing, with
this
 change the use of the
internet
 and mobile devices have become a great part of our lives in terms of social interactions and relations. Though, it has its own merits and de-merits. I believe there are more advantages to it than disadvantages.
To begin
 with,
internet
 and mobile phones have become so common in today's
world
 that it seems quite impossible to live without it. The
internet
 and mobile phones have brought people together in ways which we couldn't have imagined years ago. The
internet
 is like a portal through which people can connect with one another regardless of the distance. It enabled friends and family members living in different parts of the
world
 to connect with ease. With the help of
internet
 and mobile phones, people from different backgrounds and cultures are able to share their thoughts and views through various social media platforms and connect with similar people.
For example
: a person on
Youtube
Suggestion
YouTube
 named
pewdiepie
 gained popularity and became famous through his
Youtube
Suggestion
YouTube
 channel and
this
 was possible only because of the
internet
.
However
, it can prove to be very dangerous and lethal when exploited. Nowadays,
people especially
Accept comma addition
people, especially
 the young generation is spending most of their time online rather than indulging in physical activities. The excessive use of mobile phones is
also
 affecting the health of the people and making them anti-social in the physical
world
. People often fall victim to scams and other traps used by hackers to steal money, private data and other personal information. To conclude, both the
internet
 and mobile devices have made our lives easier. But if we don't exercise caution and limit the daily usage, it can prove to be dangerous. In my opinion, I believe it has more positives than negatives.
Submitted by mquadri789 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: