Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Considering the crime rate across the globe, some citizens are saying that

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation under

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenage should be restricted to homes abiding

Change the preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

law. But, others opine that they should be given

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to go out at all times to understand the world better.

This

Linking Words

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views and provide my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, the crime rate in urban areas has increased at an alarming rate since

last

Linking Words

decade. A majority of crimes recorded

are showing

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

that the victims are

children

Use synonyms

under the age group of 18 years.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

are not mentally

matured

Replace the word

mature

show examples

enough to understand the situations that are probing for a crime.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they cannot take

required

Correct article usage

the required

show examples

precautions to avoid those circumstances. To overcome

this

Linking Words

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should proactively introduce a law to restrict

children

Use synonyms

going

Change preposition

from going

show examples

out alone or it should mandate that they should be accompanied by the elders.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I agree that the freedom of choice to go out at any time in any country is a basic right of every child. It enables

children

Use synonyms

to think independently and

expose

Wrong verb form

be exposed

show examples

to social cultures by participating

parties

Change preposition

in parties

show examples

and gatherings with their friends and the outside world.

However

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

cultural

expose

Replace the word

exposure

show examples

there are other challenges that are bothering parents in the form of addiction to bad habits like alcohol and drugs. A saying which says "

Children

Use synonyms

are like a clay in potter's hand". Their attitude and behaviours

Add a missing verb

are to

show examples

be continuously monitored and guided by parents or laws to safeguard them.

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though, it's everyone's right to go out and enjoy as per their wish and will. Considering the current societal situations, there should be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

control

Change preposition

over

show examples

children

Use synonyms

's lives, especially to allow them out at

midnights

Fix the agreement mistake

midnight

show examples

eshwar10882Thu Dec 26 2019

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly presents both views and your opinion in a more structured manner. It could be more concise for clarity.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, rephrase your opinion to emphasize your stance more clearly and strengthen your final message.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the flow of the essay. For example, start your second paragraph with a clear topic sentence.

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both views on the topic, presenting arguments for each perspective clearly.

coherence and cohesion

You used relevant vocabulary and varied sentence structures, which adds to the overall professionalism of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

curfew
enforce
infringe
personal freedom
autonomy
foster resentment
responsible parenting
community engagement
adequate sleep
exposure to potential dangers

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Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measure should be taken to combat this issue?

Artificial intelligence will soon replace teachers in the classroom. Do you agree with this statement? What is an alternative to traditional face to face teaching?