IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree? What are some other reasons why people may stay?

#person #company #believe #money #reason #people
The majority of our waking hours are spent at our place of business.
Therefore
, it is paramount that a person
be
Suggestion
is
 happy where he works. For some people, the key to
this
 happiness is adequate monetary compensation. In fact, they may remain in a position they do not enjoy solely for the purpose of
money
. I believe that people who follow
this
 model are in the minority and by and large when people choose to remain at their companies, it is for reasons other than salary.
Money
 is rarely the reason why people remain at a
company
. In fact,
money
 is typically the reason why people leave. It is frequently easier for job seekers to negotiate a higher salary at a different
company
that is
 eager to hire them than it is to get a similar pay rise at the current place of employment. For
this
 reason, people in search of higher positions and higher compensation, generally make strategic decisions regarding their career moves and rarely stay in the same
company
 for a sizable period of their career.
Money
 aside, remaining at a
company
 for a lengthy period of time may be of benefit to some. There are those who find the stress of changing companies overwhelming and prefer to remain in familiar territory. These are people who typically relish routine and dread the unknown. Others may gain
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 of a different nature from staying
at
Suggestion
in
 the same
company
. If the location is ideal, the
benefits extraordinary
Accept comma addition
benefits, extraordinary
 or colleagues exemplary,
money
 may not provide enough of a temptation to leave. Of course for some,
money
 is nothing more than a necessary evil and they would never dream of factoring it into the equation of pursuing a new position.
Clearly in
Accept comma addition
Clearly, in
 the working world,
money
 is a primary factor for some. People will accept or reject opportunities based on it. For others, a different ideology will lead their careers. Each chooses his
path hoping
Accept comma addition
path, hoping
 always for the best.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • employee retention
  • professional development
  • telecommuting
  • competitive salary
  • health benefits
  • retirement plans
  • supportive management
  • workplace satisfaction
  • loyalty
  • job security
  • employee turnover
  • personal values
  • career ladder
  • workplace dynamics
  • loyal to an employer
What to do next:
Look at other essays: