Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects

Presently, Obesity is becoming the most significant problem around the world. In reality, the health industry is suffering a lot of difficulties to encounter

this

issue. Indeed, certain people opine that more and more sports and exercise should be introduced into the curriculum. I completely agree with

this

point, and it is the best way to tackle

this

problem, which helps a lot for health care system.

Firstly

, physical exercises

try

Suggestion

tries

to help the children

too

in the direction of

actively participate in every event.

Similarly

, they

also

make them

too

in the direction of

excel in their grades. A research stated that 90% of the children who achieved the highest grades in the examination were actively participated in a specific

sports

Suggestion

sport

Moreover

, it

also

helps them to reduce the weight, which is good for health and keeps them fit. In conclusion, a likely reason why sports and extra physical activities are introduced into the education system because it ensures the safety of the

generation.

Nonetheless

, It

also

helps them not only reduce weight, but it

also

makes them anxious about their studies.

Besides

, These

also

motivate, which is estimated to be a positive sign, other

babies

Suggestion

baby's

mind and other age groups of people. In

this

essay, I completely agree with

this

point, and

this

is one of the most prominent ways to tackle

this

issue.

Therefore

, I consciously try to decrease the problem by doing regular exercise and invite my friends to follow

this

suit.

Submitted by lokesh.kamatham on Fri Dec 27 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In the past, most employed people went to a place of work to do their jobs. These days, more and more people are choosing to work from home. What are the reasons for this change? is this a positive or a negative development?

Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children, or none at all. Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that there are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.