IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children #agreee
People think that high
school
 education should involve voluntary work in the
community
 as part of the
school
 curriculum
Nonetheless
, I would argue that unpaid
community
 service should be added to the high
school
 education curriculum for some reasons which are set out below.
First,
most
students
 need a lot of extracurricular activities to gain useful experiences since they are in high
school
 for their future personal lives and careers.
Then
, they can gain many experiences that improve their soft skills which are beneficial for them.
For example
,
community
 service can improve their public speaking skill because they must learn to communicate with different people coming from various backgrounds of society and social statuses.
Second,
in
this
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 they can use their time wisely as what they do will benefit the
community
.
For instance
,
this
 opportunity helps their
community
 to improve, especially when
students
 are given a chance to provide education, like sports to youngsters near their neighbourhood. Other than that,
students
 will have better initiatives to contribute to society rather than enjoying themselves by doing a lot of entertainment or even illegal activities that might affect their future lives. In conclusion, high
school
 institutions should involve unpaid
community
 service as their curriculum because it will give
students
 precious experiences and push them to use their time wisely and have better initiatives.
Submitted by kelly on

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task achievement
Try to add specific examples that illustrate your points more vividly. For example, mention particular types of community service projects and their positive impacts.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent and precise use of tenses. For instance, 'they can gain many experiences' would be clearer as 'they can gain many types of experience.'
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents a position in favor of including unpaid community service in high school curricula. This clarity is excellent.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You provide logical reasons and justifications to support your opinions, such as the benefits of soft skills and better use of students' time.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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