The diagram below show how leather goods are produced.
The diagram illustrates the production of
the
leather goods through 11 steps starting from drying the material till the production of bags and shoes.
Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, the animal skin is dried under the sunshine at a particular temperature. However
, after drying it, the skin is sent to the factory through lorries and trucks, and from here this
material is washed using a mixture of lime and water, in order to remove the impurities. This
purified material is then
soaked in lime for a particular period of time, and then
flattened using a machine. Moreover
, this
material is then
soaked into tannin which is a mixture of water and vegetable matter.
However
, this
soaked material is later sent for polishing so that the material becomes shiny and perfect for use. Furthermore
, this
polished material is transported to the leather factory by trucks and lorries. Finally
, this
leather from the factory manufactures shoes, bags, footwear as well as
sports materials.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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