Some people think that poverty is the reason for most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the criminal ratio is increasing rapidly in every country. Some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that poverty is the reason behind criminal activities. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement and my justification will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. Crimes like robbery, murder, rape, child labour are the major crimes occurred
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

poverty. As poor
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are less educated
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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they think that producing more
of-springs
Correct your spelling
offspring

The word of-springs doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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will help them to fill their pockets, which leads to child labour. These children are sent to beg for money rather than occupying formal education. And
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

are accounted as illiterate ones. The other reason why poverty is responsible for crime
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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is
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who don’t have money can’t fulfill their physical
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

social needs.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

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if a person
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t

The plural verb do does not appear to agree with the singular subject a person. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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get food at
time
Correct article usage
a time

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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they will do whatever they feel good
,
Change preposition
for, they

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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they
Correct word choice
and they

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

theft money to feed themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to overcome their physical needs some pervert minds can perform illegal activities like rape or acid attack to meet their sexual needs. In conclusion, responsible ones have to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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poor
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are
performing
Verb problem
committing

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

crimes
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and have to help them to complete their needs, so that
criminal
Correct article usage
the criminal

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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ratio can decrease whole over the world.s

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is partially clear. However, you should make sure that each paragraph discusses one particular point and clearly links back to the thesis statement in the introduction. In the second body paragraph, you introduced two major examples without clear transition or linkage, which may cause confusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were indeed present, clear, and well-framed, although the conclusion could have better summarised your points. Always remember your conclusion should restate your overall viewpoint or arguments.
coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that your main points are fully elaborated and supported with solid evidence or examples. The examples you've provided need more context and development. They are quite harsh and might not be suitable for an IELTS essay. Remember to use more appropriate, common examples that can easily be understood and accepted by anyone.
task achievement
In terms of responding to the task, you did show a complete response, taking a clear position on the issue. However, you could improve this by developing the analysis of your ideas further, to gain a higher score. Instead of just outlining your ideas, dive deeper into each point you're making.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are clear and straightforward. However, there are instances where your arguments could use a little more detail. For example, when mentioning illiteracy leading to crime, you could delve into how limited access to quality education amongst the impoverished perpetuates a cycle of crime.
task achievement
While giving examples is good, it's important to ensure they’re relevant, specific and coherent. For instance, your example about desperation leading to robbery for physical needs made sense, but the direct link to sexual crimes was a bit rushed. This could be improved with more clarity on the relationship between these crimes and poverty.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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