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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #care #children #state’s #responsibility
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Medical needs of children are fulfilled by their parents as well as by
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
governments
. It is often argued that guardians should take care of medication the whereas other disagrees and think that administrative
body
Use synonyms
 is responsible for determining the medical facilities for young ones.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that
governing
Suggestion
the governing body
body
Use synonyms
 is responsible for proper medical facilities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views. It is clear that immediate forebears take more care of children than anybody else.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can accurately
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 the requirements of kids and immediately
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 them. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 agreed that parents should finalize the medicinal demands.
For instance
Linking Words
, every teenager’s
body
Use synonyms
 has
unique way
Suggestion
a unique way
 to respond to
same medical treatment
Suggestion
the same medical treatment
,
hence
Linking Words
 providing same medication is not the right way to cure. On the flip side, many disagree and feel that good healthcare facilities are
Use synonyms
government’s responsibility
Suggestion
the government’s responsibility
.
State’s administrative
Suggestion
The state’s administrative body
body
Use synonyms
 has
ample amount
Suggestion
an ample amount
 of resources and huge experience of dealing with any type of medical emergency.
For example
Linking Words
, one can not alone afford the capital-intensive medical treatments. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, aid from
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 can help guardians in curing their child.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
government
Use synonyms
 agencies can seek help of medical experts in determining the best possible procedures to eradicate any disease.
Such
Linking Words
 facilities are not available
with
Suggestion
to
common man
Suggestion
the common man
. In conclusion, while the family members can examine the requirements of young ones more accurately
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
third
Linking Words
 party,
particular
Suggestion
particularly
 the state bodies, some still
feels
Suggestion
feel
 that parents should decide on
nature
Suggestion
the nature
 of medical treatment
to
Suggestion
for
 their children.
However
Linking Words
, as long as
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 is taking care of their responsibilities in positive
manner there
Accept comma addition
manner, there
 is no need to worry about medical facilities.
Submitted by Arshdeep on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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