IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Q- It is inevitable that as Technology advances, traditional culture will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#q- #technology #advances #culture #two
In today's world, technology advances may lead to the lost in traditional culture. You can see it clearly in Vietnam - the country in the rear South China sea, which lots of flights and ships go through
form
a giver or sender
from
 Western to Eastern.
Techonogy
Suggestion
A technology
Technology
 developed
first
 in Information Technology. You can see 5G, the most modern communication tool to connect people around the world. Prices are quite cheap so that families can use to learn something new.
Hence
, online services, which is called e-commerce, becomes a giant industry with full kinds of competition. Young people tend to buy almost things on the internet, including flight fares and hotel accommodations. Traditional markets or even supermarkets,
therefore
, reduce for cutting loss. Culture merging is clearer each Tet holiday. While old people want their children to come back home after a long-year working far from home, the youth need time to relax in the far places like abroad state whenever they have a day-off. So, Traditional Tet, with all members around the table to taste a family meal, becoming a blur smoke in new nuclear families. There are more and more proves to reconfirm that traditional culture will be lost gradually. The government and culture management of each country should take it as an important thing to review in their development strategy.
Submitted by phuongchamios on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!