IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. To what extent do you agree?

#people #university #education #courses #government #fund
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Some people's consideration about higher
education
Use synonyms
 is that should not be free. People who
is
Suggestion
are
 eager to study
high
Suggestion
higher
education
Use synonyms
 should pay their own courses
moreover
Linking Words
 government should assist higher
education
Use synonyms
. I considerably support
this
Linking Words
 idea with some
exceptionals
a deliberate act of omission
exceptions
exemptions
. Today’s world, there is a very tough competition between countries, in order to be
foward
at or to or toward the front
forward
forwarded
 in
this
Linking Words
competition it
Accept comma addition
competition, it
 is an obligation to give importance to higher
education
Use synonyms
 since higher
education
Use synonyms
 forms
fundemental
principles from which other truths can be derived
fundamentals
 of technological improvements.
Linking Words
However it
Accept comma addition
However, it
 does not mean that states should encourage everybody to study at higher
education
Use synonyms
. People who prefer to go to
university
Use synonyms
 should have some features
such
Linking Words
 as industriousness, smartness, willing to
make
engage in
do
 research, keen to spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 at
library
Suggestion
the library
a library
. It is impossible for every each
members
Suggestion
member
 of a
community
Use synonyms
 to have
such
Linking Words
 features, that’s why higher
education
Use synonyms
 should not be unpaid
otherwise
Linking Words
 most of people want to go the universities, quantity of graduated people is going to increase,
however
Linking Words
 admittedly its quality is going to decline
dramaticly
in a very impressive manner
dramatically
.
Linking Words
Nevertheless there
Accept comma addition
Nevertheless, there
 should be some
exceptionals
Accept comma addition
exceptions, for instance, if
exceptions, for instance if
exceptions for instance, if
for instance
Linking Words
, if a student is outstanding, genius and in same
time
Use synonyms
not have
Suggestion
doesn't have
 a sufficient money to afford, in that
time
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 should support those kind of people. If we imagine the
community
Use synonyms
 like a machine, every part of that has various duties. That’s why every professional group should be employed in a
community
Use synonyms
 to work smoothly.
Linking Words
Furthermore there
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, there
 are some drawbacks to go to the
university
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, entrepreneurship because if you have a
brillant
of surpassing excellence
brilliant
 idea and courage to achieve it, in some those kind of
circumtances
your overall circumstances or condition in life (including everything that happens to you)
circumstances
 to go to
university
Use synonyms
 might be a waste of
time
Use synonyms
, because in that period of
time
Use synonyms
 people can gain life experience
instead
Linking Words
 of spending it in
university
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, higher
education
Use synonyms
 is costly, everybody in a
community
Use synonyms
can not
can not
cannot
 afford it and
also
Linking Words
social system
Suggestion
a social system
can not
can not
cannot
 provide it unpaid for all their people at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, higher
education
Use synonyms
 is a very critical issue for every country,
Linking Words
however everybody
Accept comma addition
however, everybody
 in a
community
Use synonyms
 should not be
involve
Suggestion
involved
 in it, only
brillant
of surpassing excellence
brilliant
 ones who are capable to take
high
Suggestion
higher
education
Use synonyms
 should be supported.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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