IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on society and families?

In recent years, an increasing number of people have chosen to delay parenthood until later in life.
This
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 trend is particularly noticeable in developed countries, where individuals often
prioritize
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prioritise
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 education, career development, and financial stability before starting a family.
While
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this
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 decision is influenced by various personal and social factors, it has both positive and negative effects on families and society as a whole. There are several reasons why people postpone having
children
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.
Firstly
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, many individuals want to focus on their education and career goals before committing to raising a family. A stable job and financial security are often seen as essential for providing a good life for
children
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.
Secondly
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, changing gender roles have allowed women greater access to higher education and professional opportunities, which can lead them to delay childbearing.
In addition
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, some couples prefer to enjoy their personal freedom, travel, or strengthen their relationship before taking on the responsibilities of parenthood.
However
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, having
children
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 later in life can lead to significant consequences. On the family level, older parents may have less physical energy to raise
children
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, and there could be increased health risks for both the mother and baby during pregnancy.
Also
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,
children
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 of older parents may face challenges when their parents age earlier in their lives. From a societal perspective, delayed parenthood can contribute to lower birth rates and an
aging
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ageing
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 population, which may lead to
labor
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labour
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 shortages and increased pressure on healthcare and pension systems in the long run. In conclusion, the decision to have
children
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 later is often driven by the desire for financial security and personal growth.
While
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 it can bring benefits to individuals, it
also
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 creates challenges for both families and society that need to be carefully considered and addressed.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the discussion well. Consider adding a thesis statement to make your main argument clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, with clear paragraphs. To improve, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Task Response
You provided good reasons for delaying parenthood. It would be even stronger with specific examples or data to support your points, such as statistics on age and parenting.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear main idea and follows a logical order, which is great for reader understanding.
Task Response
You have effectively explained both the reasons for and the impacts of delayed parenthood, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • professional stability
  • medical advancements
  • individualism
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • demographic shifts
  • reproductive technologies
  • emotional maturity
  • birth rates
  • aging population
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