IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The quality of computer language translation has improved significantly in recent years. Therefore, it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Language
Use synonyms
 translation by computers has considerably improved in recent years. Some
people
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 claim
children
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Verb problem
do need
show examples
need not
Correct word order
not need
show examples
learn
Verb problem
to learn
show examples
 a foreign
language
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. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they need to explore different
languages
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in order to increase their cognitive ability
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and as they
grow
Punctuation problem
grow,
show examples
 they might need to interact with
people
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 of different
languages
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
language
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 skill is an important milestone in a child's development because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cognitive ability.
In addition
Linking Words
, the brain becomes
sharp
Correct word choice
sharper
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 if multiple
languages
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 are learnt in paediatric age.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 can translate
languages
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 for
children
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Punctuation problem
, still
show examples
still they
Correct word order
they still
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 cannot improve their
language
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 learning skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the little ones must be encouraged to master an additional
language
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.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin can speak fluently in
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 and
hence
Linking Words
, she can excel in her career.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
children
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 learn new things at a fast pace
Linking Words
similarly
Punctuation problem
; similarly
show examples
, speaking in a new
language
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 might not be difficult for them.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
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 may encounter
people
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 from different parts of the world in future, because of globalisation. So, they must be well prepared at an early age
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 by motivating them to concentrate on a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
, as a
Use the right word
grown-up
show examples
grownup
Add a comma
grownup,
show examples
 if they need to migrate to a different country,
this
Linking Words
 knowledge will help them to be social in a foreign land.
For instance
Linking Words
, my primary education was in English I had an advantage
to become
Change preposition
in becoming
show examples
 friendly with
people
Use synonyms
 in a foreign land when I moved to London. In conclusion,
language
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 translation by computers might not help
children
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 in the long run
Linking Words
nevertheless
Punctuation problem
; nevertheless
show examples
,
children
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 need to improve their
language
Use synonyms
 skills in order to thrive in a distant place.

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tip
The essay has a clear view and keeps to the idea that children should learn more languages. Add more clear and strong reasons and keep each idea to one point per paragraph. Use simple examples that fit the point.
tip
Make links between ideas with simple words like also, but, so, and then to show how one idea leads to the next. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
note
Check small mistakes in word form and grammar, like 'softwares' should be 'software'.
strength
Clear stance against the idea.
strength
Some good personal example.
strength
Good attempt to connect to future life and global view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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