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Band 7

Some people work for the same organization all their working life, while others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
In
this
 day and age, the expansion of job opportunities and accessibilities has led to a paradigm shift towards work changes that might be a new journey for society. Plenty of communities believe that people must allocate their entire lives to work at a specific
company
;
likewise
, the opposite reckons that young people should grasp an opportunity in a new environment to foster their intellect.
This
 essay is going to elaborate on both sides and provide my notions about the issues. Some proponents believe moving to a new office will open a new journey, which improves their experience. I strongly agree with
this
 statement. Addressing new issues tends to level up young employers’ brains, which are more developed than staying in one
company
.
In addition
,
this
 condition is
also
 conducive to fostering new friendships and connections when they attempt to accomplish a formidable problem together.
Therefore
,
this
 will spark a new idea to tackle a new issue and broaden friendships and connections.
On the other hand
, there is a statement that workers should be held accountable in a
company
 until they are passed away.
This
 belief is loyalty, which improves productivity continually
due to
 being always involved in the same situation and no longer adapting. It is a cliche that dedication is one of the most crucial personalities of an employer who wants to be appreciated.
For instance
, a senior manager who has allocated
his
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 time half of his life and diminished numerous
company
 challenges will be more
honored
Change the spelling
honoured
show examples
 than a younger one. In summary, those opinions positively impact society and individuals,
although
 they totally stand on crossing the line. My take on
this
 is that I agree that young people might have more captivating moments when they land at a new destination.
Submitted by soniandriawan1992 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both views and provides your opinion, ensuring that each point is fully expanded and supported by specific examples would strengthen your position. Consider adding more detailed examples to illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Aim to ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. While the structure is generally clear, using more cohesive devices can enhance the logical flow and ensure that ideas are consistently linked throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion around the topic.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, showing balance and consideration of different perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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