In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#parts #world #research #history #one’s #people #development

With the curiosity factor running high through the nerves of humans in the 21st century, Some

people

around the globe are keen on revising their family history.

While

there is a plethora of reasons for mining the ancient times, I stand with a neutral opinion in my mind, considering the pros of ethical learning and

cons

Correct article usage

the cons

show examples

of misusing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pride. The colossal

positives

Fix the agreement mistake

positive

show examples

that

emerge

Correct subject-verb agreement

emerges

show examples

out of

this

notion is

people

's intention to learn

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ethical values through their ancestral past. To explicate

this

further

, Individuals try to distil certain values from their family history, which guides them to the righteous path.

For example

, speaking of

Indian

politics, an emerging pattern of numerous young leaders who are stepping into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

politics is observed recently,

due to

the fact that these leaders realized their ancestor's efforts in helping

people

during India's struggle for Independence.

However

, there is a significant downside which cannot be ignored, as some tend to misuse

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pride for their own selfish needs.

Moreover

, it is undeniable

to say

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that the historical data gives

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sheer pride, but a minuscule section of

people

opts

Correct subject-verb agreement

opt

show examples

to take advantage of

this

with a motive to enjoy

luxurious

Correct article usage

a luxurious

show examples

life.

For instance

, taking

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

Indian

celebrities into consideration, family members of

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

ancient film stars approached the

Indian

government to attain the highest civilian jobs, with

Correct article usage

the

show examples

hope

to enjoy

Change preposition

of enjoying

show examples

the government's offerings, considering their

ancestors

Change to a genitive case

ancestor's

ancestors'

show examples

contribution to the

Indian

film industry. In conclusion, having considered the aforementioned factors highlighted above,

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of extracting historical information of a family help in en-routing an individual to a righteous path,

whereas

, the flip side would end up taking advantage of the omnipotent history to enjoy certain uninvited life comforts.

Submitted by kumaradithya16 on Mon Dec 30 2019

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and provides some relevant points, but the development of ideas could be more balanced and thorough.

coherence and cohesion

There is a logical structure in your essay, but the introduction and conclusion could be more prominent and the main points need stronger support and development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training) Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

despite huge improvements in healthcare , the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Summarise the information about the process of making carbonated drinks by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.