IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #home #six #seven #years #school
Children are born proactive in the present generation,
hence
 every parent is quite enthusiastic to make their
child
 grow faster. It is the responsibility of the parents to send their children to
school
 at the right
age
. It can be believed that sending children to
school
 is more comfortable rather than keeping them at home. In my opinion, a
child
definitely gains
Suggestion
is definitely gaining
has definitely gained
 something more if he is sent to
school
 at a very young
age
. Globally speaking, nowadays we have extraordinary
school
 teachings like e-techno. If we consider
this
 as an
instance children
Suggestion
instance, children
instance child
instance child child
 gain much knowledge visually than the technical way of implementation. Even a
child
 with an average IQ can
also
 understand what is happening around him.
Moreover
, education is a part of life which does not have an end. So, every parent thinks to send their children at a particular
age
. Some people think that children should stay with the parent until they are at least six or seven years old because children feel
forcible
Suggestion
forced
 and uncomfortable at a very young
age
 without them. But, the education system is changing more rapidly, the way of thinking and behaviour of the parents has to change according to the system.
Furthermore
, completion of studies may make the student get into corporate companies and mould to the outside world at a very young
age
. To summarise, I personally believe that children should be sent to
school
 at a young
age
 since, in today’s world, competition plays an important role. Everything goes on ‘
First
 Come
First
 Serve’
basis it
Accept comma addition
basis, it
also
 depends on the mental and physical ability of the children to send to
school
. Since not everyone is a
child
 prodigy their capabilities are to be considered
Submitted by canyonlox on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: