Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having money a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy.

#people #life #money

People always desire happiness. They keep looking for something to make their

life

greater. High percentages of people choose

money

that makes them happy. Sometimes I

also

think my

life

could be more beautiful if I have lots of

money

. According to

importance

Suggestion

the importance

money

is getting higher and it is

nassasary

absolutely essential

necessary

to live in modern society, people want to have

money

as much as they can. In my country, some people try to keep

save

Suggestion

saving

money

until they satisfy. Because people feel safe and comfortable in everywhere if they have lots of

money

. Obviously they believe

this

stable feeling

obviously make

Suggestion

obviously makes

them happy. Some people say that

money

can do everything. It means that people can do what they want to do if they have

money

. If they have lots of

money

, it

become

Suggestion

becomes

large selection.

Therefore people

Accept comma addition

Therefore, people

, especially young people think

money

is the best that make their

life

happier.

However

, there are

variety

Suggestion

varying

varied

methods for our happy lives. Recently, 'YOLO' syndrome

Suggestion

has been

popular in the world which means you only live once.

This

campaign made for people who work too hard and ignore their own

life

. YOLO changed

people

Suggestion

peoples

mind and they

stated

take the first step or steps in carrying out an action

started

finding what makes them smile. Someone

focus

Suggestion

focuses

focusses

on their

heath

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

, someone

enjoy

Suggestion

enjoys

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

or some people have learned other languages. I

also

have learned knitting. Due to people found these

activies

any specific behavior

activities

by themselves and enjoy, they feel more achieve and

happy

Suggestion

happiness

. Happiness is always beside us. It could be our hobbies or

relexing

affording physical or mental rest

relaxing

on the couch. I think that

happinese

state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy

happiness

is closer to us or far from us as how we think our lives by ourselves.

Submitted by piaosola on Thu Jan 02 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having money a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that the only important thing in life is his or her work. Without a successful career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know thier neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this ?

Some people believes that parents force their children to get sucess but other believes they need to teach them values of cooperation? Give your opinion with relevant examples?

percentage of population riding bicycles in one town by age group