Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #world #money #illnesses #diseases #health #education #prevention

I strongly agree that at present governments provide more funds on treating diseases and

illnesses and

Accept comma addition

illnesses, and

allocate minimal funds on health education and prevention. I think it is more effective to increase the budget in designing programs that aims to teach the importance of healthy lifestyle to prevent major diseases.

Government

should use the funds to make various platforms in educating the public

Suggestion

about

the causes of various diseases and how it could be prevented. I believe if the

government

will have community based activities related to healthy lifestyle it will help decrease the percentage of people with medical ailment. Programs

such

as sex education subject should be part of the curriculum in secondary schools. At present, there

are

Suggestion

an increase of person diagnosed with the disease and it continues to rise due to ignorance of the public. Prevention is the best cure. It is cost efficient to formulate preventive programs than to invest and purchase medicines and equipments.

Furthermore

government

should focus more on people and how to

further

develop their knowledge and awareness. I believe that if people powered with knowledge of what causes a disease will surely increase percentage of people living a healthy life. I think

this

approach is good for

long term

Suggestion

the long term

. In summary,

government

Suggestion

the government

allocate

Suggestion

allocates

more funds on medicines and medical equipments more rather than to portion a higher budget in promoting health education and prevention. I strongly agree that

its

it is

it's

about time for the

government

to use a much

effective

Suggestion

more effective

way to solve the issues

Suggestion

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

Submitted by babe.chotirawee on Thu Jan 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that money is the best gift to give to young people while others think other types of gifts are better for young people.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they shiuld only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.